Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
