I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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