you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
