i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
