Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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