just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
