everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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