i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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