Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
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you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
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Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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