WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize