so explain again why im purple
no
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Randomize
