Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
