Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Of course I have a pirate flag
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
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