Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
