This girl is more easily done than said...
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
