There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Buhtt sex?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
