I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I AM VODKA MAN
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
