hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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