is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
