And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
organizing the empties. That sober.
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The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
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I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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