i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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