why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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