Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
