garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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