you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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