Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
