I wish you could order shots online.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize