You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
