forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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