you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
