omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
it's great music for shaving your balls
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
