they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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