I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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