You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
