I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize