so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Randomize
