This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
