Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize