No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
