that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
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