hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
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How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
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I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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