Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
