I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Randomize
