Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
