Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
