is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
