I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
