love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
