I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
