Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
