Its about making memories worth repressing
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
