And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
