so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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