I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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