I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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