it's not cheating when I paid for it
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize