Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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