first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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