Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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