that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
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we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
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I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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