You're completely useless in the revolution.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
