He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize