i need an iv and a liver transplant
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
