I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
