just tell him i said nine months
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
